you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
