is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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