just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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