just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
