i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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