So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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