I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
