dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize