now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
