I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I want a musical about memes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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