I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
