Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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