Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
