you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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