I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
