Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
