so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i believe in u and ur pee
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
