my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it's great music for shaving your balls
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
