I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
