It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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