dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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