Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Boobs are out for the taking
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
