oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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