the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm sobbing to NWA
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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