she looked like the before picture.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize