You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found the puke drawer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
