new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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