where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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