Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize