and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
