Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
