1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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