Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
