...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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