I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
