That's intense
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
