she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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