I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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