I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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