Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
