Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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