i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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