I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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