Sry I called you an 8
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
