chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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