i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize