I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
