I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
