Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
