I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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