The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
