how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
