I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
