If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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