Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
