After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The uberlube is also flammable
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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