bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize