There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
