Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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