Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
